My Prayer to No-one. 17th August, 2008.

One day I wil disappear completely.
d words wil mean nothing.
d world wil get tired of me.
U will get tired of me.
I will get tired of myself.
I'll die.
But I will never get tired of u.
4 u there will be no endings.
I will say ur name over n over.
Like a refrain n a prayer to no-one.
I feel like a flower.
d one you'll never pick.
n will last d breathless waiting til boundaries disappear.
Wid nothing 2 do i make new constellations.
Images af u as I remember.
Sitting besides me, lost in thoughts.
Dey are stars from a different view.
But still I see nothing but u,
Unfurling like a flower,
Swiveling like a leaf.
I was once so close besides u.
I breathed u................
It wasn't dark then.
But it is now.
I cud never reach ur dreamz.
Tonight in my dreams
I wil see you.
U drenchd in light.
Like a kite I'm giving myself up 2 the wind.
Hash n weed my 2 wings.
But it is u dat ties the thread and holds me down.
Like a kite I wil forever hold your hand.
i bow down 2 u, I surrender.
I will never get tired of you.
4 you there will be no endings.
I wil say your name over and over.
Like a refrain.
My prayer to no one.
U know I wil never get far thus there is no need for my return.
Only travelers leave.
I've never been a traveler for I have never left.
I m lost simply.
I wantd to be in a place I have never been and wil never be.
I longed to be lost in the scent of your hair.
Lost among your thoughts as you are already in mine.
You are my will to live.
My life started when I loved you, and that's how I wanted to end.

Words

HE
My over draind senses
redeemed by ur wordz
wordz dat keep faulterin
after findin itz budz.

SHE
The goodness is overlappd
by thoughtz i cant control
u seem to be just anoder friend
a random guy calld mol.

HE
A random guy indeed
a random concern indeed
my love was random indeed
baby, wen wud u ever pay heed.

SHE
You dont see me
u dont need me
i m just n obsession
will pass in a mnth or three.

HE
Aha! n obsession well defined
sum timez i feel like a season
i came n i went
nd i will nvr know d reason.

SHE
Your n old timer
in d old timez u wer born
m a modern dame
i'v moved on.

HE
Not dat i cudnt
but i choose 2 hang on
well 4 sure i havnt moved on
for i choose 2 luv on....

SHE
What will u get
nt dat wat u thrive
luv is no more
ur no more my life.

HE
I dont want nuthing
i just want a happy u
where ever u go
i will alwayz be dere 4 u.

SHE
Why do hav 2 be so gud
ur gudness makes me feel guilty
i start cursing myself
d whole me feels filthy.

HE
I m nt gud
i m just a random guy
i hate u d most in d world
nd i never lie.
I never lie.....

16th july, 2008

World and its colours often amaze me. sum colours r so often in front of me that I unintentionally choose 2 ignore them....today I went 2 a famous brand showroom and purchased a shirt worth 2500 bucks and I dint have 2 think twice be4 doing that....well which many people would have looking at the woppy price tag.....it was a decent white colour shirt with vertical stripes of black on it.....I paid at d cash counter and made a move 4 my place....while cumin back I got struck in a traffic jam.....something caught my eyes today....a colour of the world I had often ignored......a man on d road side was selling coconut slices....those people u often see who jump up 4m no where once u get stranded in a jam or a red light....a very normal sight on d roads of Delhi....well, this man was no1 special but he made me ponder 2 n extent I had no hope of doing at that moment.....he was selling coconut slices.....how many cud he sell each day....about well say 50.....that would mean around 6 coconuts(assuming that each coconut could at least have 6 to 7 slices)....and how much would he earn on each coconut....say if 1 coconut is worth Rs. 10 and he sells them for Rs. 20 than say he would earn approx. Rs. 60....that would make it Rs. 1800 for a month......I had a shirt in my possession right now worth much more that.......and dint take me a sec 2 buy it.......world and its colours often amaze me............

Rain dance

Today when i stepped out of my dwellin place, fresh drops af water hit my head as if dey wer jst waitin 4 me 2 step out. dere was dis sudden darkness around me nd sum how i felt gud. the darkness dint seem its usualself. it was giving me refuge. i wantd 2 hide. wanted 2 lie low. nd at dis time of despair wen my own ppl left me. darkness was my newest friend.




so i moved out into d street plannin 2 go 4 a walk. i dint take my usual root but today i took a different road which was slightly less crowded. water had also strtd pourin by now but quiet lazily. i was walkin rather slow 2day, dint know y but probably i was jst njoyin d light-cool wind tickling my face. i was tappin my feet into dose little little puddlez which had white spots showing on them frm d lighted windows of the houses on the street. as i took turn towards the next street i saw a girl. she was akwardly standin with her back on d wall of a house probably tryin 2 shelter herself . she had both her hands stretched out into d rain. dere was nuthing dat peculiar about her dat wud make sum1 stop nd look at her but i did. she slowly moved out into d street, into d rain wid her hands still stretched. she strtd jumping into a big puddle of water. she was playin wid water. she was dancing. she was njoyin it. in her own little way she was greeting d rain. she had embraced it.........wen ppl wer runnin away 4m rain, hiding in all knooks nd corners......dis grl was out makin friends wid the rain.....



things hav always been like rain........nd i was always hidin in knooks nd corners........hoping 4 d sun 2 cum out again.......but i was nvr d 1 to walk out into d rain n embrace it.......i was scared........